HARVARD AND ALEX TECH

I have a bad habit of dog-earring pages in books that have a line or a passage that strikes me as deep (i.e., I have to remember this thought because it’s going to change me for life or until five minutes from now when I forgot I read it). I can tell that the book I just finished was a really, really good book because it resembles an animal shelter when I get done—dog ears all over the place.

When I finished reading Expecting Adam by Martha Beck, I remember thinking that it was the best book I’d ever read (an honor that would probably be more meaningful if I didn’t think that every book I’ve just finished or every movie I’ve just watched or every sunset I’ve just witnessed was the best, the most moving, the most beautiful . . . short memory).

On one dog-eared page of Expecting Adam, I discovered what the major difference was between Harvard and Alex Tech. For those of you who are disillusioned that there even is a difference, I apologize.

Martha Beck explains what it was like for her and her husband to attend Harvard and get a Harvard education: “You might assume from all this that John and I found Harvard pleasant. Oh, how wrong you would be. . . It was like having lunch with a brilliant, learned, witty celebrity who liked to lean across the table at unpredictable intervals and slap me in the mouth—hard. Was it interesting? Very. Was it stimulating? In more ways than one. Pleasant? I don’t think so.”

So how is Alex Tech different? Here’s my take on it: “Going to Alex Tech is like having lunch with your dumpy-looking aunt who smells like gingerbread and who likes to lean across the table at unpredictable intervals and give you a big hug—hard. Was it interesting? Rarely. Was it stimulating? Only when she accidently tipped my water glass while hugging me. Pleasant? Yes, if you liked to get hugged by people who smell like gingerbread and walk around in damp pants the rest of the day.” (4/22/08)