And about the fake Cabbage Patch dolls that I sewed for you before I broke down and bought Elliot and Lorna Patricia: They invented the old saying, "They don't have two nickels to rub together," to describe your father and me in our early years. I don't know exactly how much they pay teachers on the low end of the pay scale these days, but back then it was about $1.99 a month.
So yes, I admit I bought heads at Ben Franklin and sewed you fake Cabbage Patch dolls. But I'd like to point out how well you and your sister turned out. I think your poverty-filled youth was a character building experience--in an Angela's Ashes sort of way.