BIBLE DIPPING

In the book Running with Scissors by Augsten Burroughs, one of the main characters in his memoirs, the daughter of the wacky psychologist, had a fool-proof way of making decisions in her life. She practiced “Bible Dipping.”

Whenever she had a decision to make, she would make a bee-line for her white Bible, randomly open to a page, stab her finger at a word, and that would be an answer directly from God. It didn’t matter if it was a life-altering decision or a mere “should I have tuna salad or chicken on my sandwich?”, the Bible was consulted. She would flip open the Bible, stab her finger, and something like “One ox, six choice sheep, and some chickens were prepared for me daily.” (Nehemiah 5:14–19). And since the verse didn’t mention tuna, chicken it would be.

The author envied that this woman and God were buddies and He talked to her through her Bible dipping while everyone else seemed to have to muddle through making their own decisions.

This morning, I didn’t feel much like going to work, so I tried a little Bible dipping, thinking that maybe this one time, I might get an answer. I closed my eyes, opened my Bible, pointed my finger, and stabbed. When I opened my eyes, I saw:

HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Oops! I guess the first page doesn't work. Close eyes, open Bible, point finger—stab!!

“Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before obscure men. - Proverbs 22:29”

Guess I’ll go get dressed.