FLUFFY’S MASTER PLAN

Tom has the clock radio next to his side of the bed tuned to 90.1, the Minnesota Public Radio Classical Music station. (Before you make assumptions about Tom, I must add that he scratches his armpits and plans his fishing trips while listening to the above-mentioned classical music. Just wanted to keep the record straight.)

On Wednesday morning, while I was making the bed, his radio still happened to be on. I was expecting to hear some inspirational bed-making music such as Burgermuller’s Rondo Alla Turca or maybe a Chopin Prelude in A. Instead, the song playing was entitled “Fluffy’s Master Plan for World Domination.” At first I thought I was hearing wrong—but no, it really was a song about a cat’s plan to take over the world. I don’t remember many of the lyrics, but I did catch, “Deny all the dogs a decent education,” which luckily rhymed with “world domination.”

Curious, a quick internet search for “Fluffy’s Master Plan” led me to a webpage about an a cappella singing group named “The Bobs”—who, it turns out, are a prolific, award-winning a cappella quartet with at least ten CDs for sale on Amazon.com. Where have I been living?? Under a rock?!?

The Bobs’ top hits include songs like “Mopping, Mopping, Mopping,” (a post-hurricane blues song); “Get Your Monkey Off My Dog,” (Taco Bell backlash?); “Cow Tipping, Part II (diligent searching showed no Part I); “Please Let Me Be Your Third World Country (I can’t even imagine); “Let’s Adopt a Highway,” (finally some social consciousness?); and “There’s a Nose Ring in My Soup” (I’d rather not go there).

Turns out that for $14.98 plus shipping and handling, I could own any of a number of their CDs—including the CD entitled Shut Up and Sing containing their popular single, “Sign My Snarling Doggie,” a “reggae which courageously deals with the common social affliction of sports autograph sessions.” There’s even a holiday CD called Too Many Santas that features “Christmas in Jail” and “Mrs. Claus Wants Some Lovin’.”

Where have I been!?! The Bobs have been around for 20 years, and I’m finally hearing about them??

Luckily, Tom’s radio station choice brings some culture into my otherwise narrow world of art and asthetics. After all, if they’re playing it on the MPR Classical Music station, it’s just gotta be art! I’ve really got to get out more.

P.S. Hint—hint . . . My birthday is in October. Do I see The Bobs’ CD, Rhapsody in Bob, in my birthday stocking?